Gold: Oh damn you, M&Ms!
On a cold day at the end of January 2022, Carlson found his prime target for wrath. And that villain? It was the Mars Wrigley candy company. You see, Mars decided that the green M&M would no longer wear high boots and instead would wear tennis shoes. The brown M&M would wear block heels instead of stilettos. What is wrong with the world, wondered Tucker. Is this proof of some sort of liberal conspiracy that he could no longer be attracted to … fictitious candy?
First, I am not going to bash anyone’s fetish. If it works for you and there is consent, then it is not my business. But … I have to admit: I’m not even sure what type of fetish a green M&M in go-go boots includes. Is that cosplay? I never wanted to know or think this much about Tucker’s deep personal problems with sexualizing, well, candy. “When you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. …” Tucker, if you are taking candy out for drinks, then there is something seriously wrong with you.
Silver: Tucker goes full Russia proponent
When Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy came to talk to Congress, he did so in attire that reflected a country at war and in need. He knew that his fellow countrymen would see him on the TV at some point and that they were actually the audience he needed to keep, as he has been out there fighting with them. Comparing the president of Ukraine with the manager of a strip club, Carlson couldn’t hold back his desire to start bashing the way a foreign leader dressed before he went to visit Congress. Carlson, who spent a big part of his life rocking a bow tie, thought going after the way a military man and foreign dignitary dressed was a smart move. It, really, really wasn’t. The internet doesn’t forget.
RELATED STORY: Pass the smelling salts! The Tankies lost it over Zelenskyy’s Washington visit
Bronze: Tucker LOVES Putin
Who doesn’t love a guy that might, possibly, have his political opponents killed while waging an unjustifiable war and targeting innocents? Well, Carlson wants you to know that Putin is a pretty good guy because he’s never tried to get him fired. Seriously. Oh, and while I’m at it, let me spread some conspiracy theories about manufacturing a virus, whether or not the U.S. shipped jobs to Russia, and more absolute nonsense.
Honorable mention: Tucker hates tattoos
But you know what makes Carlson even more angry than diversity? Tattoos. After all, anyone with body art must be bad, right? Going on the attack against John Fetterman created a huge moment here on Daily Kos, as the now sitting Pennsylvania senator took Carlson to task in a blog post on the site, showing that Carlson really has no idea what he is talking about.
There are simply too many Carlson rants for me to run down. But there is one more element here that cannot be summed up in any rant, especially not any rant we can poke fun of and not one I will make light of: the overwhelming presentation of a show which has devoted itself to promoting absolute lies and yes, Tucker, your continued tropes of “what is even racism” trash. The only way to really discuss that is through a great presentation put on outside of the 2022 window by John Oliver.
What were the moments you thought were out of line?
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