I am writing to ask for your help, dear reader. For the life of me I cannot figure out what this strange blob is. What’s it made of? Why is it in my neighborhood? It’s attached to a piece of plastic that’s affixed to a wooden pole on a sidewalk right around the corner from my house, and while it looks like it’s oozing, it’s actually static and has remained unchanged for weeks. I don’t think it emerged somehow from the wooden pole, because it’s on top of the plastic section of the pole, not the actual organic, wooden part.
I have no idea what it is, but to me it looks like a sculpture of a hideously distorted Donald Trump. I have been walking by this pole, and this “sculpture,” for weeks now, and all I can see, each time, is a freakish Trumpian blob. I think it’s something about the orange “head” that’s topped with a whoosh of some kind of yellow substance that’s shaped in a way that looks eerily similar to Trump’s hair. That second orange blob makes it look like part of Trump’s “head” is slowly creeping away from the rest of his noggin. And the grotesque “body” looks like a chicken breast left out in the sun too long, slowly withering away. Maybe it’s just me? Do you see a cursed, melted Donald Trump when you look at this?
At any rate, I can’t look away. I also can’t tell you how many photos of this I’ve taken. When I first discovered it, I think I photographed it every time I passed it. I walk my dog at least three times a day, so this monstrosity is in my line of sight constantly. I’ve become fairly obsessed. But I still have no idea what it is. I’ve examined it up close. I’ve touched it — it’s not soft nor sticky. It feels like gum that’s hardened, or like something you’d use for house repairs that’s dried up in the blistering Arizona heat. Insulation? Putty of some kind? I’ve also smelled it. The faintest smell of mint I detected might have just been my imagination, though. I can’t be sure. Thankfully, I have, thus far, refrained from tasting it — you know, for research. I sure hope I have the strength to continue resisting. The desire to know what this is, though, is incredibly strong.
This strange blob is on a pole that’s directly in front of a house that’s rented by a small group of frat boys. Did they make it? Did they shape it like a melted Donald Trump on purpose? Or is it just gum that they randomly stuck on the pole while waiting for the neighborhood bus? The blob hasn’t grown any bigger while I’ve been watching it, so if it’s gum, whoever put it there is no longer doing so. Is there an artist in that frat house? Some tortured soul attempting to break free from his business-school destiny, expressing himself in an medium I can’t yet identify? If so, bravo! — Your work is doing what art is supposed to do: provoking, challenging, communicating, making us think. Or, maybe it’s not art at all, and it’s just gum: minty, mundane, meaningless. I have so many questions.
I’m attaching some photos so maybe you can help me solve this mystery. I appreciate it. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes. Thanks, friends.
Previously:
• Long Island Trump yard shrine ‘just straight up uncomfortable’ to look at
• ‘Donald Dump’ depicts Trump with sludge oozing out of his mouth
• This talented courtroom artist has drawn the trials of John Gotti, Martha Stewart, and Donald Trump
• ‘Appalling!’ Huge naked Trump statue sends GOP leader into rage — the same MAGA man accused of sexual harassment
• Art Spiegelman pulled his Marvel Folio Society intro after Disney demanded that he not criticize Trump
