It’s been weeks since private citizen Donald Trump killed Congress’ tough bipartisan border deal because he needed something to run on besides raining pestilence and woe upon his enemies, stopping Barack Obama from winning a third term, possibly invading Mexico, and restoring water pressure to the shower head in his semi-public stolen nuclear documents library. That was an outrage, of course, but Trump reasoned—perhaps correctly—that people are less likely to notice a little backroom political subterfuge than those imagined throngs of brown people lining up at the border, maliciously plotting to lower our crime rates and boost our economy.
Now NBC News has discovered that Republicans’ insincerity also extends to one of their favorite border bugaboos: the shipments of fentanyl that seep through our decidedly not-open southern border. Of course, the GOP loves demagoguing America’s fentanyl problem because 1) unlike most things they whine about, opioid addiction is actually a serious issue, 2) it excites both the “immigrants are scary” and “drugs are bad” lobes of the MAGA brain, and 3) Joe Biden is currently president, so they think they can hang the whole mess around his neck.
Of course, Republicans’ preferred narrative—that Biden has left the border wide open (he hasn’t) and that’s why fentanyl is pouring into the country—has never made a whit of sense. For one thing, the vast majority of fentanyl is smuggled through the country through legal points of entry. For another, U.S. citizens are far more likely to be convicted of fentanyl trafficking than noncitizens. But if there’s one sin Republicans can never be forgiven for, it’s interrupting Donny Trump Story Time.
But if the preferred MAGA narrative makes no sense, what is making the problem worse? The correct answer—as usual—is Republicans. According to NBC News, Customs and Border Protection has spent millions on state-of-the-art scanners to help them spot illegal shipments of fentanyl, but many of them are still sitting in warehouses because Republicans in Congress have refused to appropriate the funds needed to get them installed.
[S]ome of the equipment that has been purchased hasn’t yet been put into use, because Congress hasn’t allocated the funding needed to install it. The money to install the screeners was in the supplemental funding request Republicans blocked.“We do have technology that’s in the warehouse that has been tested. But we need approximately $300 million [to] actually put the technology in the ground,” [acting CBP Commissioner Troy] Miller said. “It’s extremely frustrating.”
[…]A CBP official speaking on background said the Biden administration’s “supplemental funding request would provide funding for civil works projects to allow for NII systems procured with previous-year funds to be installed.”
What? Clearly that’s fake news. As everyone knows, all government funds requested by Democratic presidents go toward free Obama phones for undocumented immigrants so they can immediately register their indiscriminate gangland murders with the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting database.
Acting Commissioner Miller gave NBC News a tour of one port of entry in Nogales, Arizona—the state into which approximately half of all U.S. fentanyl shipments flow. Officers at this entry point have found fentanyl inside soda crates, in cars that carried young children, and “stuffed inside the water barrel of a commercial bus’ bathroom.” In fact, notes Miller, more than 95% of fentanyl found at the border is smuggled into the country in personal vehicles.
Customs and Border Patrol is hoping to make it easier to block those shipments by using these scanners, which employ AI technology to increase the speed and efficiency of searches. Miller noted that less than 5% of personal vehicles and just 20% of commercial vehicles are currently scanned, and he’d like to be able to boost those numbers to 40% and 70%, respectively, by the end of 2025.
But first he’d need Republicans to either get serious about the border or get out of Congress. The former is nearly impossible, so stemming the influx of fentanyl is up to those of us who actually care about solving—and understanding—our country’s problems.
“The vast majority of trade crossing the border is lawful. Over 98% has no violations of any U.S. laws. So they’re really looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack,” former acting Homeland Security Secretary Kevin McAleenan told NBC News. “So what AI can do is tell them if this image that the officer is about to review meets what’s supposed to be in that container.”
Of course, since the vast majority of fentanyl is smuggled through legal points of entry by Americans, it doesn’t matter how much easily sawed-through border wall is built, how many alligator moats are dug, or how many desperate refugees Republicans try to drown in the Rio Grande or shoot in the legs. The drugs will just keep pouring over the border—and nonsense will keep disgorging from Republicans’ mouths. Fortunately, we have a ready solution that would help us mitigate one of those problems. The other—as y’all well know—will remain unsolvable at least until January.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link.
