Hey, look, everyone! Remember Ronny Jackson? He’s the doctor-turned-GOP-congressman who once claimed Donald Trump is in excellent health, cognitively fit, conveniently exactly a pound away from being medically obese, has “great genes,” and could live to be 200 if he occasionally ate a leaf of iceberg lettuce between jumbo cones of gyro meat. And Jackson thinks President Joe Biden’s physician is a big, phony liar.
Because we can’t get the truth from Biden’s doctor—who will likely say something marginally implausible, like that Biden could live to be 600 if George Soros harvests enough organs from the pale, eyeless thralls in his undersea adrenochrome labs—Jackson wants Biden to take a cognitive test, tout de suite!
In the wake of the highly partisan Hur report, Jackson—who is a doctor but doesn’t really play one on TV—is arrogantly calling on Biden’s physician to administer a cognitive test when Biden takes his annual physical later this year. Jackson also wants those results released to the public, because while we already know that Trump thinks windmills kill whales, that Friday night is Saturday afternoon, that Russia should feel free to attack NATO countries, and that Nikki Haley is Nancy Pelosi, all we really know for sure about Biden is that he looks old and has a stutter.
In a recent interview with the Breitbart News Daily podcast—a great cognitive test for determining whether or not you’re an asshole (if you last more than a minute, you have your answer)—D(e)r(p) Jackson insisted Americans will never get the truth from current White House physician Kevin O’Connor.
According to Jackson, O’Connor is “basically part of the Biden family” and will “cover up anything that’s going on.” He went on to say that O’Connor is “not to be trusted.”
On Wednesday, Jackson doubled down. Flanked by several House Republican leaders, he again claimed that Biden needs to prove he’s up for the job despite having already done it for three years with great success.
JACKSON: “I want to just state the obvious. If you’re not cognitively fit to stand trial or to answer accusations against you, you’re obviously not cognitively fit to be the president, commander in chief, and our head of state. And I think that, you know, we have to at this particular point, we have to start asking the hard questions. I’m glad to see that some of the press is starting to do that. I’ve been saying individually for a long time, since he was candidate Joe Biden, that this man is not cognitively fit to be our head of state and our commander in chief. We’ve had lots of evidence of that since then, a lot of people are starting to see that, and now we have the Hur report’s coming out, which is a completely different angle on this—an objective report from an appointee of his own DOJ, from his own administration that’s saying that he’s not cognitively fit to do his own job.”
Really? An objective report from one of Biden’s “own” people?
First of all, the Hur report should definitively put to rest any notion that Biden has been leaning on Attorney General Merrick Garland and the Department of Justice to return favorable political outcomes. According to Trump, all the indictments brought against him were improperly engineered by Biden himself. Yet Biden can’t quash a special counsel report that strategically hit him on one of his biggest political vulnerabilities—like Attorney General Bill Barr clearly did for Trump when he was president?
Secondly, Robert Hur, a Trump appointee, is hardly an impartial observer, and he went out of his way to make his report political.
But Jackson likely knew that already.
After mentioning some of the country’s problems—such as crime, which is now falling precipitously under Biden after spiking under Trump—Jackson waded deep into conspiracy theory territory, saying “radical extremists” and “globalists” are actually making the decisions in Biden’s White House. That’s when he insisted that Biden take a cognitive exam like Trump did.
Notably, Jackson didn’t say whether Biden should spend the next four years constantly bragging about being able to tell the difference between a lion and a camel.
JACKSON: “So I just want to let everybody know that we are going to continue to make this an issue. I will be introducing another letter today, this will be the fifth letter that I’ve introduced, that I’ve sent to the president. This will go directly to President Biden and will cc every member of his cabinet, and it will insist, it will insist that he come forward and be honest with us about his physical and his mental capability and his exam. He’s supposed to be getting a physical exam done here in just a few months, his annual physical. They’ve already indicated that there will not be a cognitive test associated with that.
I think if there was ever, ever a time that we needed a cognitive test for a sitting president of the United States, it’s right now. And as you remember, President Trump got one. I think he set the precedent. It was in large part because of the press’ insistence that he had that included as part of his physical exam. I would like to see that same type of enthusiasm and insistence from the press right now that President Biden submit to a cognitive exam as part of his physical exam. And if he thinks he’s fit to lead this country, prove it to us with some objective data that says so.”
Hoo-boy. Well, of course Republicans are going to keep making this an issue because they have scarcely anything else to campaign on these days. But if the best they can do is keep resurrecting this overtly partisan report as Trump visibly decomposes at every rally from now until November, they may want to rethink their strategy.
Of course, in Jackson’s febrile imagination, O’Connor might be a lot more credible if he conducted himself with the same professionalism that Jackson did when he was White House doctor.
Rep. Ronny Jackson, R-Texas, engaged in “inappropriate conduct” while serving as the top White House physician, according to a Pentagon inspector general report obtained Wednesday by NBC News.
The scathing report, expected to be released later Wednesday, alleges abusive behavior toward subordinates including sexual harassment.
The inspector general’s review, first reported by CNN, says Jackson drank alcohol, made sexual comments to subordinates and took the sedative Ambien while working as White House physician. The watchdog also found that Jackson mistreated subordinates and “disparaged, belittled, bullied and humiliated them.”
He made sexual comments to subordinates and “disparaged, belittled, bullied and humiliated” them? No wonder he loves Trump so much.
Gee, maybe Jackson needs to release another report on Trump’s health, because it’s very possible Trump could live to be 300 if he could somehow get his hands on bucketsful of oxycodone and fentanyl. And who better to help him than the guy they call The Candyman?
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link.
