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Snowflake conservatives are about to have a really tough Pride Month

Their hilariously ineffective “go woke, go broke” campaign is their latest effort to turn back the clock by pressuring businesses to reject messages of acceptance and inclusion. Yet they have a serious problem, highlighted above: Opponents of LGTBQ+ inclusion may be loud and obnoxious, but they are a small minority. 

Conservatives literally went to the Supreme Court in the Hobby Lobby decision to allow corporations to practice bigotry, and in Citizens United gave them the same free speech rights as individuals. Yet they are demanding that companies stop exercising that free speech now that the message no longer suits them. The whole “pro-business” facade is crumbling everywhere, and certainly spotlighted in Florida, where Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis has made his culture-war feud with Disney a key plank in his presidential bid. 

Conservatives are out of step with the mainstream, and this coming Pride Month will certainly shove it in their face. Given how much these snowflakes are already struggling to cope, this coming month will prove particularly brutal for them. 

I mean, there is nothing that says “NO PEACE FOR YOU” like a colorful flag letting everyone know that “everyone is welcome.” Why can’t businesses deny people service based on their race, sex, or national origin like back in the good ol’ days? 

What kind of sticker would he prefer? Well, this bigot helpfully tells us: 

Ahh, sweet, divisive serenity

Unfortunately for him, it’s tough being on the fringe. So much so that his Canadian Conservatives are in danger of losing one of their most conservative provinces in elections today. 

Meanwhile, as conservatives continue smarting over the indignities they’ve suffered over Bud Light and Target, they will have to face … this: 

Go, gay Chicago Bears! 

In case you want to verify, yes, this is real

Conservative snowflakes who have pretended to boycott the NFL over Colin Kaepernick taking a knee and other such supposed transgressions will now have a new reason to rail against the nation’s most popular sports league. 

To be fair, I’m not seeing any conservative reaction to this yet. It’s doubtful they haven’t noticed. The Bud Light thing was a fleeting Instagram post, not an entire public campaign. Maybe Fox News will get right on it, or maybe conservatives have grown tired of pretending to boycott a game they know damn well they’re going to watch. 

Maybe it’s easier to target a less popular retailer as—uh oh—LGBTQ+ pride has spread beyond Target! 

The horror! BABIES, people! Yet even that is nowhere near as bad as the unholy alliance between Disney and Kleenex! 

Gasp!

And look at the top image on this story: a ginormous Pride flag flown at a professional soccer match in Tennessee. TENNESSEE! What is the world coming to? 

Get ready for nonstop wailing and hysteria over the next month. It’ll be one for the ages.

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