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Fox News Is Now Mad About ‘Woke’ One-Legged Legos

Apparently children with missing limbs, Down’s Syndrome, or anxiety are considered “woke” now, according to Fox News.

In its unending quest to feed the right-wing faux-outrage machine, the conservative cable giant on Wednesday ran a segment bashing toy manufacturer Lego for introducing a more diverse roster of characters as part of its Friends product line.

According to the company, new building sets and streaming content will feature “authentic, interesting and passionate characters” that could be more relatable to a wider variety of children, including those with Down’s Syndrome, anxiety, and missing limbs. The characters will also have new skin tones to better reflect the entirety of the toy brand’s audience.

However, since diversity and inclusion mean “woke” in today’s culture wars, and “woke” is obviously a pejorative in conservative media, then naturally Fox News views these new toys as bad.

“Say it ain’t so,” Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner exclaimed during a segment on her “straight news” program The Faulkner Focus. “Lego is going woke!”

“The company unveiling a range of new characters in the effort to be more inclusive,” she continued. “Lego says the new characters will promote diversity and understanding. Some will have anxiety issues. I don’t know how you show that. One will have a missing limb. Another Down’s Syndrome. These are really important issues.”

Fox News Radio host Jimmy Failla said he “definitely” does not want the toy company’s product to reflect any of these issues. And, in typical fashion, he took the opportunity to make a crass joke at the expense of the LGBTQ community.

“But what’s so fascinating about this story is the divide in the country,” the conservative comic sneered. “Republicans think it is insane that they are forcing identity politics into Legos. Democrats are upset they didn’t make a drag queen stripper. They’re like, ‘You call this a children’s toy? What kind of set is this?’”

After saying this “shouldn’t be going on the way it’s going on,” Failla then became increasingly enraged over plastic building blocks including a one-legged toy. “But the reason they force identity into toys is because they think identity comes with a built-in political orientation, and that’s what they’re after here,” he huffed. “I’m not having it.”

Of course, less than a month ago, Failla and his Fox cohorts were inexplicably angry over “woke” Xbox, raging about the gaming console “trying to recruit your kids into climate politics” by introducing a new power-saving feature.

And, perhaps most infamously, the network’s top star spent so much time whining that the M&M’s “spokescandies” weren’t sexy enough that the candy company kicked off an entire advertising campaign that seemingly mocked him.

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