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Sen. John Kennedy warns Georgians against ‘high IQ’ people, enthusiastically endorses Walker

Jezebel:

Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.) was a part of Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker’s final campaign push on Sunday afternoon, two days before the runoff vote between him and sitting Georgia Sen. Raphael Warnock (D). While Walker himself had a number of odd things to say over the weekend, it looks like fake folksy Kennedy was intent on adding his voice to the bizarre chorus.

Kennedy, while wearing a sticker reading “RUN HERSCHEL RUN,” railed against “these high IQ stupid people” running around Congress at a campaign stop in Loganville, Georgia, on Sunday afternoon. “These high IQ stupid people have an answer for everything. You know why? Because they think they’re smarter and more virtuous than the American people,” he said. 

Did that make no sense to you? Never fear, Kennedy gave rallygoers a list of how to identify this population: “These woke high IQ stupid people are easy to recognize. They hate George Washington. They hate Thomas Jefferson,” he said. “They hate Dr. Seuss, and they hate Mr. Potato Head.”

Ah, yes, the Mount Rushmore of liberal bêtes noires: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Dr. Seuss, and Mr. Potato Head. Of course, I don’t want a U.S. senator who hates Mr. Potato Head, but I’d still prefer that to one who thinks he’s a real person. And when it comes to Walker, you just never know. 

There’s something especially off-putting about smart Republicans who know better when it comes to pressing issues like Donald Trump’s unprecedented villainy, but who go along with the prevailing GOP narratives nonetheless. For instance, contrast Oxford-educated Kennedy with Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, whose diploma is suspiciously redolent of Cracker Jack, or Eric Trump, aka The Third Darryl. Those latter two were born to be Republicans; Kennedy and Cruz willingly chose their path.

Of course, they’ll claim that liberals look down on regular people. At the same time, these phony populists do everything in their power to make those people’s lives harder. Ah, but at least they haven’t brutally defamed Mr. Potato Head!

Kennedy also waxed rhapsodic on the relative merits of cruciferous vegetables: “These high IQ stupid people walk around with Ziploc bags of kale that they can eat to give them energy,” he said. “If you want to eat kale, that’s up to you. I don’t eat kale. You know why? Kale tastes to me like I’d rather be fat.”

Yeah, no liberals are walking around all day with Ziploc bags full of kale. That’s weed, dude. Most of us eat our kale from plates or bowls—when we eat it at all.

Of course, if you’re tired of being reduced to a cultural stereotype—and you live in Georgia—you can send Kennedy and others of his ilk a message: Your IQ is high enough to understand who would make a better U.S. senator—Raphael Warnock or Herschel Walker. Also, there’s still time to vote. Let’s run through the tape. If we all do our part, we may never have to hear another grotesque lie from Walker ever again.

Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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