Home » How many football metaphors does it take to get to the center of Herschel Walker? | Boing Boing

How many football metaphors does it take to get to the center of Herschel Walker? | Boing Boing

When I read a recent fundraising email request from the Herschel Walker’s U.S. Senate campaign in Georgia, I was reminded of two things: Chuck Norris and the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial from the 1970s and 80s, where the owl hustled that kid out of his tootsie roll pop.

I have yet to read anywhere that “Walker, Texas Ranger,” is counseling Walker, Senate candidate, on political issues or otherwise. However, they do share star status in the online comedy world. Like Walker, Texas Ranger, in 2011, who became a widely circulated meme, “Chuck Norris is the ultimate badass,” Twitter users are sharing examples of different issues that Herschel Walker can lie about. But 2011 aint 2022.

“I’ve been on my fair share of teams that went up against a better-funded opponent and won because we had our hearts in the game. Now, in this race for the final U.S. Senate seat, I truly believe conservatives have what it takes to win on December 6th.

However, we CANNOT afford to go into this fight without at least having the proper equipment.”

First, I had no idea that some football teams were cash-strapped, even if big-hearted, and I follow David Zirin, living on “The Edge of Sports.” Was that his point? I’m a bit confused. I never played football. Perhaps a more significant kickback from the concession sales or tax abatement? Second, being short on ends, to my surprise, has led to teams not having the best equipment. Do some teams get group deals from Ross, Dress for Less?

To extend the metaphor, you can choose a “touchdown” donation of $7 or honor HW’s number and give $34. Isn’t a touchdown 6 points? Where is that other dollar going?

I have yet to count how many bad metaphors candidate Walker, or “Walker, Texas Ranger,” for that matter, have employed as sophomoric attempts of anesthetizing propaganda to sell a product on the discount market of ideas. Someone out there may know.

Anyway, don’t forget Herschel Walker needs a new helmet. Or, as the kid in the commercial says, “if there is anything I can’t stand is a smart owl.”


November 2022